If I Am Not My Hair, Someone Needs To Tell That To The World

I started my natural hair journey with one declaration- my hair is not political. Apparently, my hair feels otherwise and so does the rest of the world. When I decided my hair wasn’t political, maybe I should have shared that with the world. At the very least, I should have shared it with the young Black women who felt the need to stare me down last night. Had I still had long, relaxed hair, I might have understood. Back then my hair had length and bounce and I flipped it every chance I got. I could see how that gesture made me appear a little haughty, bougie some might say. But last night, as I stood there, eyes forward rocking my teeny weeny afro (TWA), I wondered if these young women were somehow angered by my audacity to wear my hair in its natural state. I don’t remember such a response when my hair was relaxed. Yes, they all wore their hair straightened (even if some of them weren’t born with that hair, it’s theirs because they paid for it). It seemed that my wearing my hair natural was enough to cause them to act defensively. I mean these women stared- angrily. In fact, the friend who was with me commented on their reactions before I said anything. Even on my way out of the restaurant, they continued staring me down, all the time scowling. 

Last night puzzled me simply because up until that point, I had received a favorable response from sistas about wearing my hair natural (at least, favorable to my face). But these young women, were almost hostile. Silently hostile of course (let’s not forget I am from the hood so I was daring somebody to say sumthin’). Perhaps they liked my hair and weren’t quite sure how to express such?  Perhaps I implicitly confronted them with their own insecurities? There are a myriad of possibilities and I may never know why these young Black women reacted the way they did. Maybe next time a woman (or women) reacts that way to me, I’ll simply ask, “what’s on your mind?”

Tags: , , , ,

categories Season 1 | Erica | datetime May 29, 2009 8:20 am | comments Comments (2)

Moses Moments

I’ve had a lot of Moses moments in my life. I have been blessed with the ability to clearly hear God’s Word when He speaks to me. Very often, I have ignored that word. Consequences promptly follow. I remember the first time I heard Him so clearly. I was sitting on the steps inside of my aunt’s house. God spoke to me and told me that I would minister to young women. At the time, I was a teenage mother with no resources- no education, no place to live, no self-worth. I was staying with my aunt because I had literally just showed up on her doorstep with my two babies in tow. My twin brother had recently been shot and killed and depression was the only emotion I knew. I thought there was no way God wanted to use me and I told Him so, in the same clear terms He had used to speak to me. What happened next was something that only God could do. With no real knowledge of the Bible (I knew the basic layout, which books belonged to which Testament but that was it), I was directed to pick up a Bible (my aunt always has plenty) and my fingers started turning the pages. God led me to the 3rd, 4th and 5th chapters of Exodus where Moses was having a similar discussion with God, trying to convince God that he was not fit for God’s purpose. God ultimately explained that He would help Moses speak and teach him what to do (Exodus: 4:15). 

I spent the next few years of my life like Jonah- running from God’s command. I sought to muffle the Word of God through violent relationships, drugs, alcohol and self-destructive behavior. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I continued to abuse my body by giving myself to men who were all too happy to take advantage of my low self-esteem. I refused to listen to reason and had convinced myself that I was unworthy of being loved and truly loving others. So I ran, and I kept running… Read more »

Tags:

categories Season 1 | Erica | datetime May 27, 2009 10:10 pm | comments Comments (0)

Timeless Works

My son had a class assignment that required him to memorize and deliver a monologue. I combed through my bookshelf and we came across the perfect piece so I thought I would share.

Dark Youth Of the U.S.A.    By Langston Hughes Read more »

Tags:

categories Season 1 | Erica | datetime May 20, 2009 9:11 am | comments Comments (3)